Today, I finally had the answer to the question I’ve been wanting to ask since 17 January 2017. 

I’ve not asked the question because I didn’t want the answer. I wasn’t ready. I thought that if I didn’t ask, I could have more time. 

But today I had the answer. Sort of. 

You know how people say actions speak louder than words? 

A simple pat on the back from my vet. That’s all I needed to know the answer to the question I was afraid to ask. 

A simple gesture that will have me counting each day at a time. And appreciating hours like I have never had before. 

Right now, I can hear you sleeping. I wanted to be stuck to you, to spend as much time as I can before you return to your creator. But it seems you are stuck to me too. You haven’t left my side since we got home. I guess we feel the same. 

14 years is a really short time. And that big beautiful heart of yours that gave me so much joy is now too big for you. 

I wish for you that when the time comes, you won’t be afraid. I wish for you that it will happen on the happiest day of your life, when you go to sleep and wake up at Rainbow Bridge. 

I wish for you to know how much your human Mommy loves you and that I can’t let you go, but please go if you are in pain. 

3 thoughts on “Lost. 

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